Day 3

I was thinking today about how sad it is that I have had virtually no relationship with some of my siblings. I don’t blame anyone, it’s just that they are significantly older than I am and live far away, have had or still have big-time careers. There just hasn’t been time for us to get together, but then, it just has never been like that in my family. My eldest brother David was the one wh probably tried the hardest, he flew me out to Washinngton D.C. twice, took me to see the first space shuttle launch, and generally has reached out when he can. My sister Maggie I see occasionally, but that is generally when she comes to see my Mom. I think my relationship with my brother Andy makes me the saddest – and Andy, should you ever read this, please don’t feel bad, I don’t blame you at all – but we have never really spent any time together except when our Dad was dying. The funny thing is, we are both climbers, although I don’t know how much he really is climbing these days. It seems like we should have spent a bunch of time together, doing climbs in California, but we never have, and at this point, probaby never will. I also have a sister named Emmie who I haven’t seen since I was sixteen and she left our family forever. Mental illness seems to be the culprit there. I don’t expect I will ever see her again.
My family is all getting older. I am the youngest member of my immediate family, and I am now forty. My oldest brother David is now in his sixties. What I am trying to say is that time is passing us by so quickly, and I would very much like to spend some time with them before it is too late. And you can never know when it is too late. It could be tomorrow, even for me. Our family has remained remarkably untouched by tragedy, but that cannot last forever. My siblings will eventually begin to die, or maybe I will, but irregardless, we will all experience tthe death of the others, and I hope that I won’t go to my grave with regret at not having known my brothers and sisters better.

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