Today is another pretty painful day. As I write this, my hands ache, my forearms have been burning, I have been having pain in my ankles, the ball of my foot, my shoulders (always), my hips (always), and looking at the weather in our area, it’s no surprise. Cold and wet. Low, hanging clouds. Yeah. Fun stuff. I told Brook that all I really need now is a cigarette to put out in my arm, and my day would be perfect. Waah waah! Poor me. Seriously.
Well no, not seriously, as in, I really want you to feel sorry for me. More of a sarcastic seriously.
I don’t want anyone to feel sorry for me. Compassion I would like, and generally get, but not pity. Pity implies that I am somehow beneath you. It is incredibly isolating, this pain. Even surrounded by people who know me, love me and give me their support, I am really alone when a flare-up occurs, because none of those people can truly share in your agony, nor would you want them to. I talk about my pain a lot here because I generally don’t have a real outlet to express how badly I feel sometimes. It gets old to hear someone complain about their ailments, so I try my best to limit how much I talk about it to others. Not here, though. No, you people are going to just have to bear it.
The good thing is that there will come a point, in the next five or six months, when the pain will start to subside, I will begin to unlock and feel better, and the words of this blog will show a different person.
Today I finished my final essay for writing 121, and did pretty well, only a few minor revisions to be made. But it was painful getting through my first couple of hours at school, and by the time my class ended, I knew I needed to get home, take a hot bath, take an Ibuprofen and hope for the best. Which is where I am at now. We’ve got the Old Skool hip-hop channel on the satellite going, Brook is cleaning and making lunch while I am being generally useless.
Thank God I have understanding, patient people around me, especially Brook. I wear people out, and my pain wears them out even faster, and she is incredibly patient and kind.
Thus ends another rambling blog by Don.